Spinning, and I'm not talking bikes, or fibercrafts...

What is this talk of spinning?

I'm talking about vestibular disorders. I have been having dizziness problems since the late 1980's, and sought answers from doctors. In 1997 I was formally diagnosed with Ménière's disease. Ménière's disease symptoms are two-fold. There is vertigo and dizziness, (frequently with associated nausea.) There is also ear fullness, hearing loss, and tinitus. The symptoms wax and wane. At times, with medication, and a controlled diet, I can feel pretty stable. Then, there are bad days, and a bad Ménière's day is a VERY bad day.

What can set me off? Foods, motions, flashing lights, people running about around me, sounds, walking on irregular surfaces, in short, on a bad day, about anything can make me sick.

Ménière's disease falls in the invisible disabilities category, in that the patient can be very ill, yet outsiders may not be aware of the problems, and therein lies a problem. Arthritis, and many respiratory and cardiac issues, and chronic fatigue also lie in the invisible disabilities category.

From what I have read, 85% of a human's balance is supposed to come from her ears. The remaining 15% is split between the eyes and the muscles, mostly the calf muscles.

As for the eyes' role in balance, watch footage of a roller coaster, and your brain knows that you are not moving, but you probably still feel the sensation of movement. This is a good example of the eyes performing vestibular functions that most healthy people can relate to. A person whose eyes are routinely taking on the lion's share of the vestibular work can feel that roller coaster sensation walking down a grocery aisle, or past a bookcase!

Well, as my inner ears are destroyed my eyes and legs have quite a bit more work to do than they were designed to do. Now, think about walking in the dark with Ménière's disease. Now, the calf muscles are suppossed to do 100% of the balance task? Oh, this is decidedly NOT good. (Is this when I mention that I am night-blind?)

As with any loss, the stages of grief come into play, especially as the symptoms fluctuate. As a reminder, I'll list the stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I will freely admit that I bounce up and down through most of the list. At times, I am at a hybrid between Denial and Acceptance! How could I pull a 1 & a 5 at once, you ask? At times I do things that I KNOW are kind of dangerous for me, because I am used to being very strong, and able to do anything. I will sometimes challenge myself to do things that I really shouldn't be doing, if I followed directions. Sometimes I feel that I really need to push myself. I detest to notion of living in fear, so I fight it when I can. That stated, adults are not used to falling over, and falling over as an adult is rather disturbing! You may not think about it, but when was the last time that you fell over?